I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize