Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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