you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
