Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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