I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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