what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Are we still banned from the library?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize