Someone shit on the floor
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
