All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Terrible idea I love it
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
