I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
