Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
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