If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
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