I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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