she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
