well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think I sprained my soul last night
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
