I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
How external is "for external use only"?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
