And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
