If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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