I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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