Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Dicks are not precious.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
