Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize