dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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