HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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