It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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