What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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