gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
