I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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