there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
3 2 1 whiskey
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
