The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
