Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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