Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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