they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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