I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
