I cockslap morals
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
