this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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