they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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