I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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