I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
