Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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