we're blogging at a bar
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
The power of my boobs compel you
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
