tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
