Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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