Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
