that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
