Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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