Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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