I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
As shirtless as possible
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize