I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
