Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
