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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You're like the curious george of whores
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
