dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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