I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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