you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
