I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
