I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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