Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
