You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize