Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
