Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
